While I'm on the photography theme...

Great little ad. All the hallmarks of nice work. Inside enough that only the target audience gets it, humor, surprise, simplicity and an insight.

A Legendary Interview with Henri Cartier-Bresson

I love Cartier-Bresson and I somewhat like Charlie Rose - when he's not being a pompous ass; which is most of the time. This interview brings these two things together wonderfully. Cartier-Bresson has Rose on the back foot the whole way through, refusing to pick up on his hopeless pandering and constantly catching him out with 90 degree twists and turns.

Charlie: "Is there a moment for you that you know when to snap?"
Henri: :When the subject takes me"

Charlie: "Did surrealism affect your photography?"
Henri: "I don't know I've never thought about it...."

Charlie: "You were very young (at the time of Surrealism)"
Henri: "I don't know what young means. You are alive, or not!"

Charlie: "the brain is young, and the heart is young..."
Henri: "I'm an anarchist!"

Charlie: "You're an anarchist, in what way?"
Henri: "I'll answer only in front of the police"

Charlie: "something must have aede you want to be a photographer..."
Henri: "[exasperated]  I don't consider myself a photographer"

Henri: "I was always very lucky because I always had in my hip pocket...[he taps his back pocket]"
Charlie: "Money?"
Henri: "NO. Film"

Charlie: "Why do you do it? You shoot photography because it's what you do"
Henri: "Because it's quicker than drawing"


Even if you don't like photography, watch this master at work. A modest giant in the world of art and photography and, by the looks of it, a lovely man. He's also pretty sozzled by the end of the interview.

Enjoy.

Henri Cartier Bresson on Charlie Rose

This just in!

The nature of news is changing, more dramatically than I imagined.

I love the 'pigs' commercial from BBH for the Guardian in London. I like it most because it very succinctly sums up in 60 seconds the new world of news that we live in. I'll let you check out the spot for yourself, but the idea behind it is that news is a far more participatory thing than ever before and the 'conversation' can, in the end, drive the story - wolf dies, pigs arrested, pigs admit to insurance fraud, public outrage over housing crisis all leading to banking reform.

This has happened, on a smaller scale, in Singapore this week. Ma Chi, a financial advisor from mainland China crashed his SGD 1.8m Ferrari into a taxi early Saturday morning killing himself, the taxi driver and his Japanese passenger. This simple traffic accident has kicked off an intense debate covering the country's immigration policy, the rising cost of living driven by the recent influx of foreigners and the widening income divide in Singapore. There has not been that much in the press about this - beyond the emerging facts. This story has been driven largely online and largely via social media with people sharing, commenting and contributing to the story. This is increasingly the way that news is going to be. It's a blend of reportage and commentary from (what we used to call) the reader or viewer.

It's a fascinating evolution of a concept (news) that we seem to see as quite static. Look around. It's really not.  Let's see where the Ferrari and the taxi driver story goes next, but don't bank on it being driven solely by the traditional news sources and channels that we know and love.

Malvinasgate II

Further to my earlier post on the Falklands ad controversy. I read that the Argentine government had, in fact, commissioned the ad to be made. I felt bad about my post and realized that I'd got it wrong. I've been busy this week and  didn't have time to take the post down - and anyhow, none read it because I didn't forward it on to my Twitter feed or onto Facebook.

Good job I was busy.

It turns out that the agency were not being entirely truthful and neither was the Olympic dude who starred in the ad when he revised his earlier statement and said that the ad was in fact made for the govt. Now they have yet again revised their position and admitted that is was 'spec work' that was then shopped around - as I'd first suspected.

It's a golden rule of any business, when you're caught, don't try to lie your way out of it; you'll get found out eventually and it'll be all the worse.

China For An Hour (a week)

Just had a lovely dinner with David Topolewski who runs a really interesting technology firm in Beijing (www.qooco.com) and we talked a lot about what we saw as America's problems from a long way away here in Asia.

I brought up the Tom Friedman's idea of being "China for a day" - the ever smug Friedman's (in this case entirely valid) notion that China gets to make mandated smart decisions because of their complete lack of democracy and how, in small doses, it makes for some super smart plays. We agreed that America needs something radical like this to change because, as David said, "reform takes decades, innovation is far more immediate".

We then got on to Singapore politics and I pointed out that while many don't like the Singaporean system because it's far from democratic, it does work. David pointed out that in the 50's Singapore's GDP per cap was the same as Jamaica's, now look at us today. Like it or not, Singapore's mix of semi-democracy, nation building and ruthless single minded vision has worked pretty damn well.

I don't think Singapore is "China for a day". But, I do think Singapore is "China for an hour a week" and, like it or not, it's worked. The kinds of bold, long term strategies that real change demands, don't get done in this world of 49%/51% politics. Maybe it's not everyone's cup of tea, but right now my Singapore Dollar is higher than ever, the property market is on fire, GDP is higher than ever, unemployment is 2.1%, we just got voted the third most popular place in the world to live and we're about to overtake Macau in terms of gambling revenue.  This is a remarkable and interesting place, and people who still talk of us in terms of caning people and banning chewing gum would do well to think again!

Malvinasgate

To be up-front. This isn't a pop at Y&R. I worked there and we had our differences, but this isn't me bashing my former agency - honest.  This is about an industry problem of scam and fake work.

Now that we hear more about this story a slightly different picture emerges. I'm only going on what I've read, so forgive me if the picture changes again. From the reports, the agency paid for the film to be shot, and importantly, there was NO CLIENT. That's right. The government did not request for this film, it was shot by the agency on-spec.

The athlete was interviewed on Al-Jazeera and he said he was told by the agency that there was no buyer for the ad, but they would seek one once it was made. He was then told, two months later "there was a chance the Argentine government might be interested".

So, this is clearly scam, created by the agency and then shopped around to anyone who would be willing to sign an awards entry and put their name behind it.

I've nothing against great creative work, but scam is a blight on our industry. It distracts us from the real work, it takes up valuable time and resource from the fee paying side of the business, it gives creatives a false sense of worth and sometimes (like this time) it really screws you over.

Only in organizations that are awards obsessed can this happen. It's a shame for the people involved who were, likely, just following orders. But it's symptomatic of a bigger issue - the cycle of awards and scam.

For the record. I personally think it's time the UK seriously negotiated with Argentina to give back the Falklands. However, since the discovery of oil off the coast, the chances of that are slim. Shame. I also thought it was a beautiful piece of film, so maybe that's some consolation as you look for your next job.

Fruit Merger

Why doesn't Apple buy Blackberry?

They've got the cash and, surely, their packed data technology would help those of us why switch phones when traveling to avoid the crippling data roaming charges. They are strong still in the enterprise space where Apple surely has big ambitions. While Blackberry messenger would be a great trojan horse for iOS in markets like Indonesia and the Philippines where it's huge. BM might also help augment what is a slightly confused (to me) messaging/IM strategy for Apple right now - esp. in in context of the many new 'free' messaging services (what's app etc.)

I'm not saying Apple is buying RIM and you should get the stock while it's lounging at an eight year low. But maybe it's an idea. Mind you, the last time I made a stock tip (Nokia) it was less than successful!

It Takes An Olympic Village...

Interesting study being undertaken by Britain's O2 Network on the potential impact of the Olympics and workers in London - it seems to be a gentle encouragement to let workers work from home during the Olympics.

On the whole I think we all need a re-think on how, and where, we work. However, I do think they're missing one small point. The survey on habits and attitudes was taken Q1 2012 and yet I have a sneaky suspicion that 'behavior' during the Olympics might be different from that pre or post Olympics.

Maybe it's just me, but if people were encouraged to stay home during the World Cup I hardly think a report conducted 6 months prior to the World Cup would be indicative of people's eventual behavior.

The Grand Old Party

Nice POV from the New Yorker on the rationale behind some of the comings and goings of the Republican Party...

“Parties want to be optimally extreme,” Zaller says. “They are like the frequent air traveller who believes that if he never misses a flight he is getting to the airport too soon.”  This dynamic may help explain the ups and downs of the Republican primaries. Backing Mitt Romney is like showing up four hours early and sitting at Cinnabon; backing Rick Perry would have been like arriving at Newark International in the early evening for a flight that left LaGuardia at noon. And maybe, just maybe, backing Rick Santorum is like getting on the plane right before the doors close.

Flying Swarm of Robots

Funny, I had the same idea at the same time in my previous post snappily titled "My Proposal for Anti-Dictator Low Earth Satellite Internet Program"

Cool.

Anti Dictator Internet


http://www.fastcodesign.com/1669200/flying-swarm-of-robots-gives-protesters-and-activists-free-wi-fi-on-the-go

Why war correspondents live in more dangerous times

Robert Capa's last photo before being killed in 1956

I was listening to an interview on some such channel following the sad death of Marie Colvin and Remi Ochlik and it struck me that wars aren't necessarily getting any more dangerous (likely with more high tech weaponry, the opposite is true) but maybe being a war correspondent is, and, as with many things, technology is to blame.

The general rule for war correspondents is (and I'm likely paraphrasing) to 'never be out of touch'.  Back in the days of Robert Capa, technology added up to a Leica M6 and an army field radio, so being 'in-touch' really meant being in a platoon with soldiers and other people.

Fast forward to today. Being 'in-touch' means having a satellite or cell phone or a laptop or an iPad. Any of these things, puts you immediately in touch with your editor or head office from pretty much anywhere on the planet. As such, gone is the need to be embedded with an army or a fighting force - and with it the protection it provides. These days, a war correspondent can go it alone, with no net and no back-up.

The sense I got from listening to the people who knew Marie Colvin was that she wasn't crazy, she didn't have any kind of death wish, nor was she trying to live out some kind of hung ho "I'm a war reporter" image. She was careful, pragmatic and serious. And yet, there she was in a building in Homs, with no backup, support or safety net. Fifteen years ago, she would not have been there; her editor would not have allowed it because, without mobile technology, there would have been no way to report!

Today, it's different, and she paid the ultimate price because it is. I'm not sure how interesting this post is to people, but it just struck me all of a sudden how technology has changed this niche career so much for good and for bad.

Newt

"He's the foremost intellectual in the Republican party the way Gene Simmons is the foremost intellectual in Kiss" 


Bill Maher

The 1% of the 1%....

In Forbes, he's described as 'self made'. I don't know much about Russia, but being worth $ 4.4bn and owning this $340,000,000 yacht (currently lounging in Singapore's harbor) hardly sounds like 'self made' - when you consider he's 38 and made his money in coal and fertilizers. That would be conquering two big categories in an 18yr career from scratch...in Russia - a market not known for it's 'self made' entrepreneurs. Anyhow, nice boat, and at least he had the class to have Monsieur Starck design it for him. Mr Melichencko, welcome to Singapore, please spend some money while you're here, ideally not at Sheldon Adelson's casino as he might simply give it to Newt 'colony on the moon' Gingrich for his ill thought through presidential campaign - which would be amusing, but a terrible waste of good old fashioned ill gotten gains.

RIP Vaclav Havel - reading his 1990 speech is a fine use of 5 minutes of your life...

The Hebrew University

---

Jerusalem, April 26, 1990

Mr. President,
Ladies and gentlemen,

First, I would like to thank you for the great honour of being awarded an honorary doctorate from your university today. This is far from the first honorary doctorate I have received, but I accept it with the same sensation that I always do: with deep shame. Because of my rather sporadic education, I suffer from feelings of unworthiness , and so I accept this degree as a strange gift, a continuing source of bewilderment. I can easily imagine a familiar-looking gentleman appearing at any moment, snatching the just-obtained diploma from my hands, taking me by the scruff of my neck and throwing me out of the hall, because it has all been just a mistake compounded by my own audacity.

I'm sure you can see where this odd expression of my gratitude is leading: I want to take this opportunity to confess my long and intimate affinity with one of the great sons of the Jewish people, the Prague writer Franz Kafka. I'm not an expert on Kafka, and I'm not eager to read the secondary literature on him. I can't even say that I've read everything Kafka has written. I do, however, have a rather special reason for my indifference to Kafka studies: I sometimes feel I'm the only one who really understands Kafka, and that no one else has any business trying to make his work more accessible to me. And my somewhat desultory attitude about studying his works comes from my vague feeling that I don't need to read and re-read everything Kafka has written because I already know what's there. I'm even secretly persuaded that if Kafka did not exist, and if I were a better writer than I am, I would have written his works myself.

What I've just said may sound odd, but I'm sure you understand what I mean. All I'm really saying is that in Kafka I have found a large portion of my own experience of the world, of myself, and of my way of being in the world. I will try, briefly and in broad terms, to name some of the more easily defined forms of this experience.

One of them is a profound, basal, and therefore utterly vague sensation of culpability, as though my very existence were a kind of sin. Then there is a powerful feeling of general alienation, both my own and relating to everything around me, which helps to create such feelings; an experience of unbearable oppressiveness, a need constantly to explain myself to someone, to defend myself, a longing for an unattainable order of things, a longing that increases as the terrain I walk through becomes more muddled and confusing. I sometimes feel the need to confirm my identity by sounding off at others and demanding my rights. Such outbursts, of course, are quite unnecessary and the response fails to reach the right ears, and vanishes into the black hole that surrounds me. Everything I encounter displays to me its absurd aspect first. I feel as though I am constantly lagging behind powerful, self-confident men whom I can never overtake, let alone emulate. I find myself essentially hateful, deserving only mockery.

I can already hear your objections that I style myself in these kafkaesque outlines only because in reality I'm entirely different: someone who quietly and persistently fights for something, someone whose idealism has carried him to the head of his nation.

Yes, I admit that superficially I may appear to be the precise opposite of all those K.'s Josef K., the surveyor K., and Franz K. although I stand behind everything I've said about myself. I would only add that, in my opinion, the hidden motor driving all my dogged efforts is precisely this innermost feeling of mine of being excluded, of belonging nowhere, a state of disinheritance, as it were, of fundamental non-belonging. Moreover, I would say that it's precisely my desperate longing for order that keeps plunging me into the most improbable adventures. I would even venture to say that everything worthwhile I've ever accomplished I have done to conceal my almost metaphysical feeling of guilt. The real reason I am always creating something, organizing something, it would seem, is to defend my permanently questionable right to exist.

You may well ask how someone who thinks of himself this way can be the president of a country. It's a paradox, but I must admit that if I am a better president than many others would be in my place, then it is precisely because somewhere in the deepest substratum of my work lies this constant doubt about myself and my right to hold office. I am the kind of person who would not be in the least surprised if, in the very middle of my presidency, I were to be summoned and led off to stand trial before some shadowy tribunal, or taken straight to a quarry to break rocks. Nor would I be surprised if I were to suddenly hear the reveille and wake up in my prison cell, and then, with great bemusement, proceed to tell my fellow prisoners everything that had happened to me in the past six months.

The lower I am, the more proper my place seems; and the higher I am, the stronger my suspicion is that there has been some mistake. And every step of the way, I feel what a great advantage it is for doing a good job as president to know that I do not belong in the position and that I can at any moment, and justifiably, be removed from it.

This is not intended to be a lecture or an essay, merely a brief comment on the subject of Franz Kafka and my presidency. I think it is appropriate that these things be expressed here in Jerusalem, at the Hebrew University, and by a Czech. Perhaps I have put more of my cards on the table than I wanted to, and perhaps my advisers will reprimand me for it. But I won't mind, because I expect it and deserve it. My readiness for the anticipated reprimand is just another example of what an advantage it is for doing my job when I am prepared at all times for the worst.

Once more, I thank you for the honour, and after what I've said here, I'm ashamed to repeat that I accept it with a sense of shame.

Public Relations in need of PR Partner in Singapore

You couldn't make this up...it's like something from the Onion...

http://www.marketing-interactive.com/news/29492

Thinking about today's media-savvy terrorists

I thought you smart worldly people would find this of interest - some of you may have seen it before, forgive me. 


If it's offensive, apologies - I think  understanding our 'enemies' is far more valuable than screeching about them.

Inspire is Al Queda's quarterly magazine - available free on the Internet. I've not read it before, but I spent some time reading the latest edition and found it kind of interesting.

First of all, there's a strange sort of Good Morning America feel to it; which is part comical and part unnerving. 

The "Hear The Word - a collection of quotes from friends and foes" section is kind of amusing and the section on reactions to Inspire is really interesting - it's like a "review of our last edition" section...

The second part in the series "Training with the AK" is informative and easy to follow - if you happen to own an AK47, I'm sure this will be of interest to you.

The letter to the editor this month was a long and interesting one from Imran Khan (of cricket and now political fame) which is meticulously answered by the Editor in quite some detail. The response is factual, polite and informative (often coming with recommendations of further research that can easily be done on Google) and the tone is more reminiscent of the pages of Monocle or Men's Journal than of some loony terrorist cell.

There is also a "Send your questions to Anwar al-Awlaki" section that I think he's going to have trouble delivering on given that he's currently indisposed courtesy of as US drone attack.

What fascinated me most was the coolness (cool headedness, not cool) of the tone and attitude - one section called 'Open source jihad' says it's useful because the advice given "allows Muslims to train at home instead of risking dangerous travel abroad".... This is clearly a group with an excellent understanding of themselves and their position.

I guess my point in all this is that AQ have again demonstrated that they are far from tone deaf and are, in fact, very innovative in their thinking. To publish a glossy quarterly in English is a smart move on their part and to talk in such measured ways is clearly going to play to a certain audience.

It always annoys me when the Sean Hannities of the world rage on about these people being animals or living in caves - it's just ridiculous. This is a sophisticated and well educated enemy that we would do well to respect even as we distain.

For more on this, check out a very interesting study from Radio Free Europe called the Al Qaeda Media Nexus 

http://www.rferl.org/content/article/1079736.html

George Lakoff - Don't think of an elephant

Even if you don't like elephants or American politics, this is a fascinating read.

I hate the Occupy Wall St movement

Well, I hate their positioning and here's why.

Words matter...a lot. They matter a lot more than we usually give them credit for - especially in today's world of PowerPoint, tweets and emails. Words matter the most, as you'd imagine, at the highest level - naming things...or framing things (which I think is a better way of thinking).

I wrote a blog a while back, or I meant to, about 'framing' and the importance of framing issues correctly and how names play a really big role in that.

Think of phrases like pro-life or war on terror or no child left behind, their naming isn't just a name, it's an idea; the name describes the idea or FRAMES the idea perfectly.

So, to the point of all this.

I heard Bill Maher on the Rachel Maddow show last night describe the Tea Party as the best brand the Republicans have come up with in decades; and he's right. It's a great name that frames the issue in the context of the war of independence and shrugging off the dominance of America's oppressor (my people, as it happens). A great brand name that is a lighting rod to deep-seated issues and histories.

He went on to talk about the liberal equivalent - the Occupy Wall Street movement. And it struck me that the Occupy Wall Street has done, in my opinion, a horrible job of naming and framing.

First of all, 'occupy' reeks of student sit ins, hippie movements or G20 anarchists and is easily trivialized by the conservative media - it's child's play for O'Reilly and his mob to paint the protesters as deadbeats or freaks and he's doing it every night.

Secondly, the name is about what they are doing and not WHY they're doing it. Big mistake. The tea party, when it began, could have easily called itself the Occupy Wall Street group because they were essentially anti bank bail outs. But they didn't. They were smarter than that.

Thirdly, to tie the cause so closely to Wall Street is short sighted, limiting and a bit naive. Wall Street is a symptom not the cause. If this is an anti-greed or pro-middle class movement (to be honest I'm still unsure what it really is) then there are broader targets than Gordon Gecko - which they have realized with their millionaire march through manhattan today.

If this is to be the liberal equivalent to the tea party it needs re-framing and fast. The OWS need a much tighter idea if they are going to have the impact the Tea Party has had.

Here's some hastily penned ideas that I think get closer to framing and naming.

BTW if you're interested in understanding the notion of 'framing' you must read George Lakoff's book "don't think of an elephant" - its wonderful, like the text book of the movie Wag the Dog.

I think this is about the fight for the middle class so I would frame it so.

Fighting for our fair share movement
Reclaiming America for the people movement
All for one and one for all - sorry Alexandre...
Work hard, pay hard movement
Mothers for the middle class - that, over time,expands way beyond mums

I would make it more about coming together than breaking things apart. I'd make it more about American pioneering spirit and working together (God knows we need it) than I would about hating fat-cat capitalists - going against rich people is just butting heads against the American Dream.

Clearly these aren't the best ideas, but someone, somewhere is, I hope, thinking along similar lines and going to Marshall this rowdy rabble into a serious movement. If they're not, it will be to Prez Obama's detriment and possible undoing.

Novartathon is now is Franglebrook...

One of the types of advertising I enjoy the most is when one company you've never heard of runs ads to tell you it's now changed its name or merged to become another company you've never heard of. This example is particularly noteworthy because they've done it in such an ugly, ham fisted manner.

I'm not sure why Campaign doesn't dispose with their articles and just let FTI Consulting have the whole damn page.

I also don't think they needed to TM their tagline, not much danger anyone else is going to want a line like "Critical thinking at the critical time"...... Could you take yourselves a bit more seriously? Does one of your competitors have the line "Pointless thinking at the worst time possible"?

TOP SECRET/Subject: America today.

I'm reposting this wonderful article from Tom Friedman because it's even more relevant today than it was when he wrote it 10 months ago.  With what the republicans and the tea-baggers are doing to the standing of the United States, Beijing must be ecstatic. If only they can offload some of that US$ debt they own!

By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN 

Published: November 30, 2010

While secrets from WikiLeaks were splashed all over the American newspapers, I couldn’t help but wonder: What if China had a WikiLeaker and we could see what its embassy in Washington was reporting about America? 

I suspect the cable would read like this:

Washington Embassy, People’s Republic of China, to Ministry of Foreign Affairs Beijing

TOP SECRET/Subject: America today.

Things are going well here for China. America remains a deeply politically polarized country, which is certainly helpful for our goal of overtaking the U.S. as the world’s most powerful economy and nation. But we’re particularly optimistic because the Americans are polarized over all the wrong things.

There is a willful self-destructiveness in the air here as if America has all the time and money in the world for petty politics. They fight over things like — we are not making this up — how and where an airport security officer can touch them. They are fighting — we are happy to report — over the latest nuclear arms reduction treaty with Russia. 

It seems as if the Republicans are so interested in weakening President Obama that they are going to scuttle a treaty that would have fostered closer U.S.-Russian cooperation on issues like Iran. And since anything that brings Russia and America closer could end up isolating us, we are grateful to Senator Jon Kyl of Arizona for putting our interests ahead of America’s and blocking Senate ratification of the treaty. The ambassador has invited Senator Kyl and his wife for dinner at Mr. Kao’s Chinese restaurant to praise him for his steadfastness in protecting America’s (read: our) interests.

Americans just had what they call an “election.” Best we could tell it involved one congressman trying to raise more money than the other (all from businesses they are supposed to be regulating) so he could tell bigger lies on TV more often about the other guy before the other guy could do it to him. This leaves us relieved. It means America will do nothing serious to fix its structural problems: a ballooning deficit, declining educational performance, crumbling infrastructure and diminished immigration of new talent.

The ambassador recently took what the Americans call a fast train — the Acela — from Washington to New York City. Our bullet train from Beijing to Tianjin would have made the trip in 90 minutes. His took three hours — and it was on time! Along the way the ambassador used his cellphone to call his embassy office, and in one hour he experienced 12 dropped calls — again, we are not making this up. We have a joke in the embassy: “When someone calls you from China today it sounds like they are next door. And when someone calls you from next door in America, it sounds like they are calling from China!” Those of us who worked in China’s embassy in Zambia often note that Africa’s cellphone service was better than America’s.

But the Americans are oblivious. They travel abroad so rarely that they don’t see how far they are falling behind. Which is why we at the embassy find it funny that Americans are now fighting over how “exceptional” they are. Once again, we are not making this up. On the front page of The Washington Post on Monday there was an article noting that Republicans Sarah Palin and Mike Huckabee are denouncing Obama for denying “American exceptionalism.” The Americans have replaced working to be exceptional with talking about how exceptional they still are. They don’t seem to understand that you can’t declare yourself “exceptional,” only others can bestow that adjective upon you.

In foreign policy, we see no chance of Obama extricating U.S. forces from Afghanistan. He knows the Republicans will call him a wimp if he does, so America will keep hemorrhaging $190 million a day there. Therefore, America will lack the military means to challenge us anywhere else, particularly on North Korea, where our lunatic friends continue to yank America’s chain every six months so that the Americans have to come and beg us to calm things down. By the time the Americans do get out of Afghanistan, the Afghans will surely hate them so much that China’s mining companies already operating there should be able to buy up the rest of Afghanistan’s rare minerals.

Most of the Republicans just elected to Congress do not believe what their scientists tell them about man-made climate change. America’s politicians are mostly lawyers — not engineers or scientists like ours — so they’ll just say crazy things about science and nobody calls them on it. It’s good. It means they will not support any bill to spur clean energy innovation, which is central to our next five-year plan. And this ensures that our efforts to dominate the wind, solar, nuclear and electric car industries will not be challenged by America.

Finally, record numbers of U.S. high school students are now studying Chinese, which should guarantee us a steady supply of cheap labor that speaks our language here, as we use our $2.3 trillion in reserves to quietly buy up U.S. factories. In sum, things are going well for China in America.

Thank goodness the Americans can’t read our diplomatic cables.

China Embassy Washington